Baby Jamie๐Ÿ’™

Hey gals and guys ๐Ÿ˜,

Hope you are all having a good week so far ๐Ÿ˜ƒI had a really good day for the first time in ages.It didn’t turn out how I expected but better.

I was working at 12pm and I didn’t see Pauline despite it being her first day back ๐Ÿ˜I heard her though ๐Ÿ˜‚She was giving out like crazy at the staff on the quails so I am glad I was not in her path!Chris was in and on tills but I didn’t get chatting him as he was on the far till.I was only working until 4pm so it was a nice short day and I didn’t have to deal with loose items ๐Ÿ˜„We have our yearly appraisals tomorrow with Pauline.We are given questions to answer such as what we think our own performance is like,how can we better ourselves,our opinion on leadership etc.I decided since I am leaving I would get real honest ๐Ÿ˜‚I sent Aoife and Lauren a picture of what I wrote.They want me to photocopy it and frame it ๐Ÿ˜‚I basically said I have lost all interest in the job,that I can no longer fake it,I will not be improving as I am leaving in two months,that there is favouritism between some management/staff,I hinted I do not like some staff members and that management need to communicate better between them.So my appraisal meeting tomorrow will be interesting…

Last night I done something which I thought was silly in a panick but actually worked out.I was checking my snapchat after I posted my last blog on here to see if the musician had put up anything.He put up a video of his new tattoo which his dad had liken to a drunken barcode ๐Ÿ˜‚Then a while later I went back on snapchat and he had disappeared from my friends list ๐Ÿ˜ฏI freaked out thinking he had deleted me for some reason so I googled to see how you can tell if someone has deleted you from snapchat.If you can’t see them on your friends list or you can’t see their snapchat score that means the person deleted you.I found his name in the search bar and I could still see his score ๐Ÿ˜€I decided to snap him to ask what his tattoo was at 2am of all times (he’d probably think I was drunk again).I was in such a panick that he had deleted me that I forgot all sense of self and ended up sending him the ugliest snapchat of my confused face asking about his tattoo ๐Ÿ˜“It remained on delivered status so I went to sleep.Then finally he opened it today but he didn’t reply straight away so I figured he wasn’t going to.I checked my phone while at the till an hour later and seen I had a snap from him.I couldn’t open it as I was serving customers but you should have seen the smile on my face ๐Ÿ˜€Katarina was at the till across from me and was giving me a weird look ๐Ÿ˜‚

I finished work and as much as I wanted to open the snapchat I was also very nervous to open it since it was our first proper interaction after I was drunkenly snapping him two weeks ago!What if I had said something bad and this was him just snapping to tell me to leave him alone ๐Ÿ˜ฏI messaged Dylan as we had arranged to meet after I finished work (I had to face that situation eventually)to see where we were meeting up.He said he was heading to the Galway Shopping Centre so I was to meet him there.I stood outside in the sun and got the courage to open the snap from the musician.I was hoping for a snap of his adorable face but instead it was of his shoe explaining his tattoo was of his surname in Ogham (old Irish language).I snapped a picture back of me enjoying the sunshine saying I preferred his dad’s comparison to a drunken barcode.To my shock he replied back a second time and again a picture of his shoe saying “Yeah classic dad joke ๐Ÿ˜‚”.

In the meantime Dylan arrived and to my surprise there was no hug or even a smile๐Ÿค”.He had a friend with him and he just waved at me.I walked along side them for a bit before his friend went off to the shop so Dylan and I said goodbye.We chatted a bit about his time in Australia and why he returned.He partied everyday and ran out of money ๐Ÿ˜‚I told Dylan that I have just been working and partying since he left.I was hungry so we decided to go to Boojum for food.The musician loves Boojum and he once told me a story of how his friend that works there gave him a free extra burrito so he gave it to a homeless person (thats why I like the musician so much).He has such a good heart ๐Ÿ˜I snapped the musician back with a picture of the Boojum sign and told him how excited I was to be having it ๐Ÿ˜‹I haven’t had Boojum in two years as I was trying to lose weight and I was way to excited ๐Ÿ˜ŠI got a spicy beef burrito bowl and it was disappointing!It was stone cold.The musician didn’t open my snap for hours ๐Ÿ˜He has his usually gig in the Skeff tonight I think so I put it down to travelling back from Dublin as getting no reply but as time went on and it was coming near showtime I knew he was not going to reply.Now all I can think about is how many women are probably throwing themselves at him at his gig as per usual.I still can’t find the courage to ask him out for a drink.I just don’t know what I expect to come from this because I am moving away.I just know I can’t shake him out of my mind and feelings ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‰I am not even sure how he feels about me anymore ๐Ÿ˜•

Dylan and I walked around for a while talking.I was expecting him to bring up what he said on snapchat about me being his soulmate etc while he was away but not a word.I guess we are never going to discuss it and pretend like it never happened but I am getting sick of doing that.I done that with Keith all the time and it nearly destroyed my self-esteem.I don’t want to keep repeating the same mistakes in relationships and friendships.I was feeling a bit drained so I said to Dylan I was going to get the bus home.We walked to the stop and it was a bit awkward between us.We just stood there in silence and looking at our phones until my bus came.As we said goodbye I was left wondering if our friendship is becoming strained.

I got off the bus and walked to my apartment.I noticed Keith’s car was outside and for some reason he had his blinds fully open and hung back so his window was bare.I felt uneasy as if he was maybe keeping an eye out for me like we used to do when we first started seeing each other.I couldn’t see him at the window so maybe he is just saving on electricity ๐Ÿ˜‚I wonder has he been to his doctor back home.I am so worried about him and as I entered the code to the apartment block I suddenly was hit with this fear of leaving him and going to Australia.I may not want to be in communication with him anymore but at least if I can keep an eye on his coming’s and going’s from my apartment I’ll know he is safe.Its totally irrational and obviously I am still going to Australia ๐Ÿ™‚

I reheated my Boojum and watched some television before going downstairs to begin boxing up some more of my belongings for storage but again I found every excuse under the sun not to do it.I don’t know why I am really struggling with this.Its a big change and I am doing it gradually so I thought I would be fine.Aoife messaged Lauren and I in our new facebook message group asking if we wanted to book tickets to go see the new Avenger’s movie but unfortunately I am away when it comes out.Hopefully Grace will come see it with me when I am back in Ballyshannon.We chatted for a while in the group chat about Pauline’s first day back,our next night out etc.I was in my pjs and lying on my bed at this point so I gave up the charade of any packing getting done ๐Ÿคฃ

The best news from today was that Lisa had her baby.Jamie was born on Sunday morning at 7:05am weighing 7lb 11oz ๐Ÿ’™Lisa had a difficult pregnancy and labour proved to be much of the same.She lost a lot of blood during and had to get a transfusion.The doctors think she also has sepsis ๐Ÿ˜”Baby Jamie has to stay in the special care unit for a few days as he also has some sort of an infection.Hopefully they both will be back to full health in a few days and be able to go home.I can’t wait to get a cuddle with him.He is absolutely gorgeous and I am super proud of Lisa.I am officially an honourary aunt now.I am going to be broke buying Jamie all the latest Harry Potter baby stuff ๐Ÿ˜‚

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Positive vibes always,

Shauna ๐Ÿ˜—

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The Pieces of Me

I'm a 28 year woman living in the greatest city in Ireland aka Galway.This blog is my personal diary of the struggles I face dating,the crazy drama I can never avoid,the complicated relationships with my family/friends and battles with mental health.I hope if anyone reads this they will find it helpful and funny because you won't believe the shit that happens to me but I promise its all true!Enjoy...๐Ÿ˜

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