Dear gals and guys 😁,
How is your weekend going?Mine is boring so far but I am enjoying it 😊I am currently binging on ’13 Reasons Why?’ 😂
I finally got a lie in so I am pure delighted.I needed a good rest!The week ahead at work is going to be fucking horrible with one 6am shift and the rest of the week is all long shifts 😪They actually text saying that they need someone to work tomorrow and I immediately text back saying ‘no can do’.I need my days off or I’ll go crazy 😖
I worked out for the first time in ages.I HATE working out 😓I love the feeling afterwards and its good for my mental health.I videoed it on snapchat of me dancing/exercising on the ellipitcal machine.Just goofing off to get me through the workout 😂The musician was the first to see it and immediately after put up a video of him in the pub.I’m starting to think that is all he does now 😂I have come to accept that its not going to happen between us again and I am actually ok with that.Usually I would wallow in self-pity and my self-esteem would be at an all time low.I just am at peace with our situation.
Its my situation with Keith that bothers me most.I am back to constantly checking on him as much as I can via social media and through monitoring his movements from the apartment 😐He left his apartment all dressed up so I am guessing he is meeting one of his women 😑Yet here I am,still loving him,still caring about him,still worried about him despite everything he done to me 😠I’m angry at him but also myself for being so stupid.For feeling this way about a man who doesn’t give a fuck,who doesn’t take responsibility for his actions and a man who can’t get his shit together.I know I’ll stay up until 3am to see if he comes home just so I know he is safe.Why do I keep doing this to myself?😠Why can’t I stop loving him?I hope I can move on when I go to Australia finally.The heart wants what the heart wants 😑😠
Anyway enough about men.I need to get back to my best.I need to stop stress eating,spend more time working out to calm myself down and focus on the people who matter.Focus on getting my stuff sorted for Australia.Time for my fresh start.I just have to get through the next 9 weeks!
Positive vibes always,