Who Needs Rescued?

Hey gals and guys ๐Ÿ˜,

I got into bed early last night and was all tucked in with my hot water bottle (its so fucking cold in Ireland ๐ŸŒฌ).I put on ‘Jessica Jones’ from Netflix and got comfy.I was exhausted and my whole body was aching from work.I had to be up to get my tattoo done this morning so was looking forward to having the apartment to myself with the flatmates being away ๐Ÿ˜Š

It was 2:15am when my phone started ringing.I checked to see who it was but it came up private number on the screen.I never usually answer private calls but for some reason my gut was telling me to this time.It was Keith.He sounded really upset and scared.He said he was drunk and walking home from town (45 mins walk from town to our apartment complex)๐Ÿ˜ฏ.Then he asked me could I drive his car to him.I refused as I wasn’t going bring his car to him so he could drive drunk,I didn’t have access to his car keys and I am not insured on his car.I told him to ring a taxi but he said he couldn’t flag one down(to drunk too see he mean’t)so I told him I would use the my taxi app and pay a driver to come get him where he was and bring him home๐Ÿ˜.Then Keith said “Thats why I love you.You are always there for me and no-one else will answer my calls”.I laughed it off and told him he doesn’t love me,he is just drunk but he insistently kept repeating it.The taxi collected him and I stayed up to check out the window that he got home.

Keith saw me at the window and started waving like a lunatic ๐ŸคฃI knew he’d head straight for my apartment so I opened the door and stood waiting for him.He had the biggest smile on his face when he saw me๐Ÿ˜„.We went into my bedroom and sat on my bed.I put it to him that he seemed upset or in a bad mood when we were talking on the phone and he said he is upset because he hates Galway๐Ÿ˜”.He said”Galway is a shithole and I don’t want to stay here without you”.He then told me that he doesn’t know what to do.I told him that I love living in Galway but its time for a new adventure๐Ÿ–๐ŸŒ.Then he looked around my bedroom at all the packed boxes and bin bags and asked “What is going on here then?”.I explained that I was packing all this stuff to put away into storage for when I go to Australia.The look on his face was one of complete devastation and he said”You’re not going to Australia” and I quietly replied “Sorry but I am babe”.Clearly he must have been in denial since I first told him I was going.

We decided to go stay in Keith’s apartment so we headed downstairs to his.He put on a movie,we cuddled and I let him pour his heart out.He kept begging me not to leave him and not to move to Australia ๐Ÿ’”I told him that he couldn’t commit to me and now its too late but just because I am going to Australia doesn’t mean I won’t still love him๐Ÿ’‘.He got annoyed with this answer.I tried appeasing him by telling him its only a year I will be away for and that if he needs me he can ring me anytime which just seemed to piss him off more.Keith put his arms around me and kept telling me he loves me,that I am the only woman he wants and he would give me anything I asked for.I again repeated that its too late and he finally accepted how badly he has fucked up these last few months๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ž.I haven’t seen this vunerable and loving side to Keith in nearly 6 months!๐Ÿ˜ž

Then he asked me a question which shocked me.He said “What would you say if I told you I want to get you pregnant?”.My mind and heart started racing.I knew he was only asking this to keep me from leaving and if I stayed nothing would change with him so I asked him why he was asking this question and he simply replied”To have a baby”๐Ÿคฐ.If this was a couple of months ago I wouldn’t think twice and we’d have started the baby-making there and then but I need to go to Australia for myself.I told Keith that if he was serious we would discuss this when he sobered up.We talked for another few minutes about love in general and then in a pleading and heartbroken tone he requested that I don’t date while I am in Australia.I told him I can’t promise anything only that I love him and always will.Next thing I heard him snorning ๐Ÿ˜ช

I tossed and turned most of the night.I felt torn and heartbroken ๐Ÿ’”I never thought Keith would care about me going to Australia judging by the parade of women he had been shagging in the last few months but since I broke the news to him that I am going to Australia he has been a broken man.Its true what they say,you don’t miss the water until its gone ๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ˜”He is making bad choices left and right.I am worried about how he’ll be when I am gone to Australia ๐Ÿ˜ฏHe is drinking way more than ever before to cope with losing me,he has lost all interest in his job and he genuinely only ever seems happy when we are together.Is he being selfish and trying to make me stay?Does he truly love me and is just worried about what the future holds for us?Who will be here to answer his 2am/3am/4am rescue calls?Does he actually need rescuing or do I?Prehaps I am only seeing this situation the way I want to which is that he is in love with me and is just worried about the future.He is willing to let me go if thats what is going to make me happy but it won’t stop him trying to get me to change my mind in the meantime!Is that true love?I don’t know anymore ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ˜

Keith had to be up for work at 8:30am this morning and complained he only got 5 and a half hours with me ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜We spooned for a bit and then the spooning led to sex ๐Ÿ˜‰It was loving sex though,not our usual rough and passionate sex (which I REALLY enjoy ๐Ÿ˜‰).He told me that he wanted to pick up where we left off when he finished work as he had to go get ready.He even described how he wanted me (bent over the desk in his room and he would do me slow and hard ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜)

I went upstairs to my own apartment when he went to work to get a bit more sleep ๐Ÿ˜ดAt 9:45am I got up and got ready to go into town to get my tattoo done.I stopped off at Burger King (I have to stop eating so much junk if I want to wear a bikini in Oz!)and then the bank.While in the bank I got a text from Keith saying “Waking up beside u was so good!!”.My heart melted ๐Ÿ’˜I messaged back saying “Yeah was so nice ๐Ÿ˜”.He asked if we could meet up later and I said yes.I sent him a picture of me getting my tattoo done as I hadnt told him what I was getting up to today.He seemed a bit confused as to why I was getting another tattoo.I told him it was to represent me going travelling to Australia.What he doesn’t know is that part of the tattoo I got represents him/is for him.I added a love heart because no matter where I am in the world he will have my heart and the cross matches the one he has on his upper arm.After I got my tattoo finished I got a message from Keith saying he is going back to his apartment for lunch if I wanted to pop down ๐Ÿ˜I hopped on the bus and headed that direction.

When I got there Keith answered the door with the biggest grin ๐Ÿ˜I headed straight for his room but he pulled me in for a cuddle first and then he told me to go into the living room.His hands were freezing so he put his arms around my waist to warm up.He led me over towards the sofa.As we stood in front of it he turned me around and started kissing me passionately ๐Ÿ˜˜It was so fucking sexy.His hands made their way down my body as he kissed my neck (my weak spot ๐Ÿ˜œ)I unzipped him and my hand made its way into his boxers ๐Ÿ˜‰After some foreplay he bent me over his sofa and as he promised made slow and hard love to me ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‰We didnt have protection so he pulled out and came on my top (that I had only bought a few hours before ๐Ÿ˜†).

Keith got some food and headed back to work and I am currently lying in bed waiting for my other ex,William,to text to say he is on his way around to collect some stuff he forgot when he moved out a few months ago.I hope he comes when Keith is at work because I don’t want a fight erupting ๐Ÿ˜ฃ

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Positive vibes always,

Shauna ๐Ÿ˜—

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The Pieces of Me

I'm a 28 year woman living in the greatest city in Ireland aka Galway.This blog is my personal diary of the struggles I face dating,the crazy drama I can never avoid,the complicated relationships with my family/friends and battles with mental health.I hope if anyone reads this they will find it helpful and funny because you won't believe the shit that happens to me but I promise its all true!Enjoy...๐Ÿ˜

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