Live the Best Life

Hey gals and guys ๐Ÿ˜,

I have been enjoying the beautiful weather we have had here in Galway the last few days ๐ŸŒžIt was warm enough to wear shorts and a t-shirt.I had been in such a bad mood because Keith had been acting suspiciously and distant all week so the sunshine helped put a smile on my face๐Ÿ˜Š.

Keith started acting distant on Monday.We hadn’t communicated at all for about week before then.I didn’t pay too much attention to this as he had told me he was studying for his IT course and his landlord is trying to sell his apartment so he has to be there at certain times for viewings.However on Monday he came home from work at 6pm and he was watching sports with his brother.I noticed him leaving his apartment at around 9pm and he never usually goes out again after he comes home from work unless he has no food in the house.My mind went into overdrive as always๐Ÿค”.I stood on my balcony for half an hour waiting to see when he would be back(pathetic!)However he didn’t return until 11:30pm and my heart sank (why would he be out that long unless with another woman?)๐Ÿ’”.I know we are not officially a couple but I thought we had agreed not to see other people either.

I tried to put it to the back of my mind and tell myself I needed to try give him the benefit of the doubt.On Wednesday I seen his car pull up so I decided to go down and see if he’d say anything (I was going to the shop anyway).As I came out the door he has the biggest smile on his face when he saw me ๐Ÿ˜„Keith asked me “Are you not gone yet?”(He was joking about me moving to Australia because I had sent him a drunken message the previous weekend about how I don’t think he’ll care about me moving).I didn’t find the joke funny though as I am really struggling with the thought of leaving him ๐Ÿ˜ฃHe could tell by the expression on my face that he put his foot in it and he said “Its a joke ๐Ÿ˜‚” to which I replied with a sarcastic look and said “Stop talking shit”.

Keith has been spending alot more of his free time with his brother this past week which is great.I love their bond ๐Ÿ™„It makes me so happy to hear them laughing together and the joy they get watching sports together.They live together in the apartment below mine but his brother had been away quite alot the last few weeks.I worry about how Keith will be when I leave (with good reason,he hasn’t exactly been coping well so far!)so knowing his brother is around more now puts my mind at rest ๐Ÿ˜ฅ.On Thursday Keith was working the late shift at his job so he was due to finish work at 10pm.I always wait to see his car pull up so I know he got home ok but as the hours went by there was no sign of him.Come 12:30am I knew he was not coming home.I don’t know where or who he stayed with but I had myself convinced it was with another woman ๐Ÿ˜ 

I was devastated but not surprised as I will always expect this behaviour due to our past.I made up my mind that I was done with Keith (for the millionth time๐Ÿ˜’).On Friday he returned home early from work and he had to clean his apartment for a viewing.I saw him going to put his bins out so I grabbed my rubbish and headed that direction too.I wanted him to walk by me and if he tried to talk to me I planned to ignore him so he would know there was a problem.Yet as he walked by me there was no big smile as soon as he saw me as per usual ๐Ÿค”He said “Hello”in a cold voice as if I was just some acquaintance he barely knew.I replied with a greeting in the same manner and was going to walk on but he asked me how I was so I stopped for a minute and just said in an angry tone that I was fine.He walked on so I continued onto the bin sheds to disguard my rubbish.

To lift my mood I decided to go to Salthill for a walk with Aoife on Friday evening ๐ŸžWe walked along the promenade,got ice-cream and chatted which cheered me up ๐Ÿ˜ŠWe messaged Lauren to come meet us but she was having a mother/daughter bonding day with her mam so she couldn’t๐Ÿ‘ญ.We walked for like two hours and our legs were like jelly after but it felt good to just vent.I didn’t even mention Keith as I just wanted to forget about him.After the walk we both went back to our own places as we wanted to get an early night to prepare for our girl’s night at Lauren’s the next day๐Ÿท๐ŸŽ‰.I went to bed at 10:30pm and just relaxed watching Netflix.Keith’s car was there but his apartment was very quiet so I guessed he might be in bed early for work the next day as I hadn’t seen him leave that evening.

I eventually fell asleep at around 1:30am.I was waking up every 20 minutes though.At 2:20am my phone started ringing and I checked the caller ID.It was private number so I knew it was Keith and that he was probably drunk.I answered it and after the usual pleasantries I decided to pretend I wasn’t sure who was calling so Keith might hang up and let me go back to sleep๐Ÿ˜ด.I laughed when he said “This is the boy you kissed two weeks ago” and I replied with “I didn’t kiss a boy two weeks ago” to pretend he wasn’t that memorable ๐Ÿ˜‚In his drunken stupor Keith had forgotten the code to get into our apartment building so I had to give him it ๐Ÿ˜‘He asked if I would come down and stay with him for the night but after being sure he had stayed with another woman the night before I was in no mood to babysit his drunken ass ๐Ÿ˜ I planned to put him to bed and leave.

I thought he’d be outside his door but then I heard the elevator coming up.There he was waiting outside my door eating takeaway food.His eyes were pure bloodshot and he looked agitated ๐Ÿ˜กAs I stood there in my dressing gown he looked me up and down which made me feel very self-conscious so I told him he was being rude and that I was going back inside my apartment ๐Ÿ˜ Keith gently took me by the arm asked me to stay a second.Suddenly he got this really weird look on his face which scared me a bit.He came right up into my face and started just staring at me in a mixture of anger and confusion ๐Ÿ˜ฒI said to him”You’re being really weird and its freaking me out so I am going back to bed,goodnight”.He took me by the hand and apologised.

He asked if I would come stay with him in his apartment but I made the excuse I had to be up for work early (he doesnt know I was signed off on medical leave).He informed me that he had to be in work at 11am and asked what time I started so I lied and said 11am also๐Ÿ•š.Keith said”well then we both start at the same time so its perfect” and he gestured to me to go downstairs.I took him by the hand to steady him as he went down the stairs ๐Ÿ‘ซWhen we got to his door he took the key card out to unlock it but he couldnt stand still enough to open the door๐Ÿ™ˆ.I took the key off him to unlock it and bid him goodnight as I was going back to my own bed ๐Ÿ›ŒKeith was not happy and said”You’re coming in with me” and I said no.He said”Oh yes you are” so for the sake of a peaceful night I decided to stay the night with him.

Keith was so drunk that more of his food was going all over the floor than in his mouth ๐Ÿ˜‚I climbed into my side of his bed and waited for him to get in beside me.He has become self-conscious around me lately(last two months) and won’t take his shirt off in front of me which is ridiculous because I love him no matter what and I can’t make it anymore obvious how much I fancy him.๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜Its all because his mam told him he had gotten fat recently.He put his arms around me and I lay my head on his chest.He kissed me and said”You are my woman” to which I answered “No I am nobody’s woman”.Again he repeated”You are my woman”.He kissed me again and declared”I don’t want to kiss anyone else ever”.Then Keith asked me”Do the other’s kiss you like this?”and he kissed me passionately to which I replied”There are no others unlike you shagging all those other women๐Ÿ˜ข”.He denied it of course.

I turned away to go to sleep and he asked me why I was facing away.I told him its more comfortable to sleep while spooning.He swept my hair away from my neck and kissed my neck and shoulder lovingly ๐Ÿ˜We spooned for a while before he asked me to cuddle him facing him.He lifted my chin with his finger to look up at him and he said”I don’t care if its upstairs or downstairs,I just want to be with you always” and he kissed me again ๐Ÿ˜™I wasn’t letting the issue of his ware abouts the previous night go though and I said”You’ll be fine without me when I go,you’ll find somebody else no doubt”.Keith laughed and said he isn’t having sex with anybody else.He begged me not to go to Australia and to stay with him but I said I couldn’t.Keith asked me why I couldn’t stay and I lied by telling him my visa is sorted and my flight is already booked.I told him I have 6 weeks left in Galway ๐Ÿ˜†Keith got frustrated and then he said “You’re right you know to get out of here.Galway is a shithole.You should go to Australia.You deserve it ๐Ÿ˜Š”He kissed me longingly and lovingly ๐Ÿ˜™I advised him to leave Galway if he is unhappy but he said he isn’t ready yet(whatever that means).

Then he fell asleep for a minute and he woke up and asked me about Craig (a guy I was seeing for a month while Keith and I were not talking at the start of this year).He said”That other guy you were seeing,was that only to annoy me?”and I replied”Somewhat but I liked Craig too” and Keith just sighed and said “Ok”๐Ÿ˜•.There was another long silence until he suddenly said very seriously “What if I was to offer you like everything?Like marriage?Would you not go to Australia?๐Ÿ’”I knew he wasn’t thinking straight so I just said”Steady on,you are way too drunk and you need to go to sleep”.I never got a reply and heard him snoring about 5 minutes later.A few hours later I was awoken by the sound of Keith choking in his sleep so I moved him and he was fine but it frightened the life out of me.

I didn’t get much sleep Friday night between Keith’s snoring,his hogging the blanket and waking up every few hours to see if he was alright.At one point he talked in his sleep but I couldn’t make out what he said ๐Ÿ˜‚Keith woke me up early Saturday morning by rubbing my thigh and feeling my ass.He then slid his hand up my nightgown and fingered meโœŒ.We are a very sexual couple ๐Ÿ˜‰I never was very sexual and morning sex would have been the last thing I would want until I met Keith ๐Ÿ˜‰I want to have him all the time๐Ÿ˜.I thought that phase would wear off after a few months as it always did before with ex’s but its over a year later and even when he just brushes up against me I get the tingles down my body ๐Ÿ˜He likes to take charge in the bedroom so I waited for him to tell me exactly what he wanted me to do to him ๐Ÿ˜‰We have recently gotten into dirty talk during sex ๐Ÿ˜‰It reallys makes me horny when he tells me that my body belongs to him and nobody else ๐Ÿ˜If I defy this and tell him that it belongs to me or someone else he’ll spank me until I can’t take it๐Ÿ˜‰He really likes to hear me tell him how much I want his penis(which is all the time!)๐Ÿ˜During the sex Keith kept telling me how much he is going to miss me ๐Ÿ˜™He then put me on my hands and knees,bent me over and made me orgasm ๐Ÿ˜‰

Keith was so tired that he couldn’t cum.I hate when that happens because I always question is it my fault or does he not find me sexy enough ๐Ÿ˜ฏAfter the sex he got up to use the bathroom and when he returned I notice a massive cut on his arm ๐Ÿค•I asked him what happened and he replied”I fell last night”.We cuddled in bed until we fell asleep again ๐Ÿ˜ชKeith likes to sleep with my hand on his bare gentials…no idea why but I don’t mind one bit ๐Ÿ˜‰A few hours later he woke me up for some foreplay.I was determined to make him cum but it just wasn’t happening despite my best blowjob moves being used ๐Ÿ˜‘We lay in bed cuddling and talking.Keith said”As soon as you come home from Australia I will be waiting for you ๐Ÿ˜” and I jokingly replied”Well if you have banned me from ever having sex with any hot Australian guys you better give me the best sex ever when I am back ๐Ÿ˜‰”.He laughed and said”You know I will” and played with my hair.It went quiet for a few minutes and then he said to me in a very serious tone”When you get back from Australia I will cum inside you,would like you like that?”It took me by surprise because he never cums anywhere near my vagina,its always in my mouth or face ๐Ÿ˜‚I knew what he was really asking though.He was asking me did I want to start our family when I got home!๐Ÿ˜„๐ŸคฐHe had asked me two weeks ago about getting pregnant instead of going to Australia๐Ÿคฐ.He was drunk at the time so I told him if he was serious we would discuss it when he was sober๐Ÿ˜ž.He never brought it up again so I put it down to drunken shit talk but on Saturday morning he was now sober and serious.I simply replied”Yes I’d like that baby”.Keith kissed my head and we fell back asleep ๐Ÿ˜ด

Keith’s alarm went off at 10am for work but we spent the next half an hour pleasuring each other.No better way to start the day ๐Ÿ˜œI became frustrated that I couldn’t make him cum still ๐Ÿ˜ฆHe reassured me that it was because he was wrecked and I lay on top of him just cuddling instead.I left his apartment at 10:45am so he could go to work.I got a shower and changed my clothes to go into the city centre to hand my medical cert to my manager and let Pauline know I would be back Tuesday to work.While in town Keith text asking me when I was coming to see him again.I couldn’t stop the smile spreading across my face ๐Ÿ˜€He was thinking about me but again I brought up his ware abouts on Thursday night by asking him if he is seeing anyone else.He replied saying that he isn’t and he won’t but I dont think that is enough.Unless he is by my side 24/7 I’ll never fully trust Keith.He text me asking to stay with him that night again but I said I couldn’t because I was staying in Lauren’s house for our girl’s night.He replied asking if I was in my apartment right now and I said I was on the way back.He text me with instructions to “put on your yoga pants and come down to me” as he was on his way home for his lunch break ๐Ÿ˜‰

I done as I was told and we stood in Keith’s living room just holding each other for a while.He loves to feel my ass in yoga pants๐Ÿ‘.He is obsessed with my ass and tells me all the time how much he loves it which is so sweet because its one of my biggest insecurties ๐Ÿ˜ฃIn any outfit I wear he loves to turn me around and see how good my ass looks and feels ๐Ÿ˜‰Keith slowly slid down my yoga pants,bent me over and fucked me good ๐Ÿ˜‰He then lay me on the floor where he wanked himself off until he came all over my face.He got it right up my nostrils ๐ŸคฃI cleaned myself off and got dressed to go back up to my apartment.He must have wanted to spend time together after the sex because he asked why I was leaving so I poked fun at him saying”I need a shower because someone came all over me inconsiderably” and he laughed ๐Ÿ˜‹ He asked what my plans are for the next few days (so that meant I wasnt going to see him,thats always his way of telling me he is busy)so I said I had girls night that night and then we were thinking of going to Roundstone if the weather was still nice on Sunday (spoiler it isn’t).I waited to see his reaction to Roundstone because thats were he took me on the most romantic date of my life ๐Ÿ˜He seemed a little taken a back when I mentioned Roundstone and just said”Oh,the weather is supposed to break tomorrow”.I said I would talk to him later and headed up to my apartment to get ready for girls night.As I headed out the apartment block I seen Keith getting into his car to go back to work but I didnt acknowledge him.As he drove by he stopped the car and honked his horn at me in appreciation for the short shorts I was wearing ๐Ÿ˜œ

I walked up to Lauren’s house as she was hosting us for girls night.We bought loads of pizza,sweets and alcohol.We played a game called ‘Cards Against Humanity’.Then we listened to some music,drank and gossiped.We put on two movies and were snapping Chris of our bonding night without him ๐Ÿ˜‚Lauren has a pet snake called Rocket which she took out of the tank๐Ÿ.I’m not the biggest fan of snakes so I just touched him instead of holding him.She put Rocket to bed and we stayed up until 6:30am talking about boys,secondary school days,Lidl and our futures.I love Lauren and Aoife so much ๐Ÿ˜They are the two best friend’s a woman can ask for.I’m going to miss them terribly when I leave here ๐Ÿ˜ข

We woke up at 12:15pm and luckily the hangover was not to bad considering we were drinking until 6:30am ๐Ÿ˜‚Aoife and I gathered our stuff to head home.We were all exhausted so we decided to recoperate instead of going out for the day today.I went straight into bed when I got home and only woke up a half hour ago ๐Ÿ˜ŠNow its time to order Chinese food and enjoy some trashy tv.These last few weeks are all about just living my best life with those I love in Galway before I leave for Australia ๐Ÿ˜Before I sign off I must say a happy anniversary to Lauren.Its our friendsaversary on Facebook ๐Ÿ˜Two years of friendship down,a lifetime to go ๐Ÿ˜‹

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Positive vibes always,

Shauna ๐Ÿ˜—

 

 

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The Pieces of Me

I'm a 28 year woman living in the greatest city in Ireland aka Galway.This blog is my personal diary of the struggles I face dating,the crazy drama I can never avoid,the complicated relationships with my family/friends and battles with mental health.I hope if anyone reads this they will find it helpful and funny because you won't believe the shit that happens to me but I promise its all true!Enjoy...๐Ÿ˜

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